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hey whats up my name is simon im a funny fun loving person who loves to hang out and party i love to swim and tell jokes and just hae a great time here are some of my poems



the poems are a-zero


Absolute Hatred

Misalign
Redefine
What it is to be blind
Bathing in ignorance
So sick of you
Looking to enhance
All that is untrue
A voracious
Superfluous
Sarcastic existence
Why don't you go kill yourself
And bury your carcass when you're through

Alone In A Dirty World

The vast universe to fill
Try to fathom our insignifigance
Come what will
But what comes then
Our limited perceptions
Could it be a deception
Only to see through these wretched eyes
Where does it go when it all dies
Cursed to never know what matters
Only served confusion on a platter
Tortured
Locked up inside my mind
No solace I can find
Doomed to solitude, trapped in here
Alone in this world of uncertainty and fear

Believe

How can you not believe that you could reprieve
All this agony that seethes
And despite the spite you seem to feel
Only for me, all this you could heal
I'm destroyed
In pieces on this dirty floor
If you wanted you could put it all back together
And I swear it could be what you need
But you don't care about what I bear
I feel it and it makes me tear
I know what you think
But I think you're the link
To the pleasure I desire
I just want to see you
I just want to talk to you
I just want to love you without guilt
Is that too much to ask for?

Boiling Point

So sick and tired
Of living in ire
With all that's transpired
I want to retire
This life
This strife
With a knife
To my throat
Why devote
One more note
Or a quote
To be the goddamned scapegoat
Of this world
That just hurts
Me in spurts
No effort
To give a hand
How do you expect me to withstand
All this torment
It won't relent
I resent
How hell bent
I've become on dying
And you never listened
You never cared
So fuck all your bullshit
And how can you dare
To tell me
That you see
How diseased
I've become
When you don't know a thing
Don't know anything
Not the sting
To be here in a sling
I don't give a shit
What these halfwitted
Counterfeit hypocrites
Say or do to me anymore
I just want to throw it all away

But Not Tonight

Come sit on my lap
How I long to feel the flap
Of your angelic wings above me
I look into your eyes
My how time flies
Inside you where I want to be
Carressing your face
I remember those nights
When I was all alone
There seemed to be no light
Kissing your lips
And it feels so right
Before I felt dead
But not tonight
Sitting in this chair
Running fingers through hair
Removing garments one at a time
Lead me to your bed
And make me forget
The sorrow that used to be mine
Entering you
I've begun a new plight
Wrap yourself around me
It feels so tight
Sleeping with you
I'm losing my sight
Of all that's wrong with me
Not tonight

Cold and Alone

So this is how it ends
The alcohol my only friend
Why pretend?
I know it'll never mend

Drinking myself to sleep
I think I'm in a little deep
What's left of me I'll sweep
And crawl into nothing without a peep

So cold and alone
Feels like you broke every bone
The sharpest pain couldn't hone
Without you there's nothing I own

Without you I'll surely die
The only thing that could make me cry
Why did you have to lie?
You never loved me, couldn't even try

Don't know why I woke up today
Still wondering why you had to stray
All alone, it all looks so grey
I guess I was just here for you to betray

Destroyed Beyond Repair

All I wanted was someone to spend my life with
All I wanted was someone to share my bed with
But if I can't fall in love, then I'd rather not feel
Because all that's left is hurt that cannot heal
Now that the drugs aren't working anymore
Allowing the disease ravage me even more
And once you've become such a fucking mess like this
How can you find someone to spend your life with?

Doesn't Really Matter

I remember now
I remember how
It all fell apart
The goals I set
I couldn't get
Gone before I could start
But why complain
None to blame but me
Why am I complaining
My own fault I'm empty
Fuck it
I've had it
I gave up
I can't put the pieces back together
It's shattered
And best I leave it that way
Before something worse comes along

Dollars And Cents

Please pardon me
I meant no harm in being born
I just want to be happy
I don't want to feel so forlorn
I'm not going to hurt anybody
Just give me my bottle, I'll be fine
It's all that pleases me anymore
I think everyone deserves to be happy
So smoke your weed
If that's what you need
Just leave me alone
Obssess over money
Though it's not for me
Live for what you own
Whatever you want
If it gets you through
If it's right for you
You're only here so long
Enjoy it if you can
It seems it's too late for me
But not for you
So do what you do
If it eases your mind
Euphoria's not hard to find

Epiphany

Born into perpetual unrest
Forever beautifully depressed
And the thought is pressed
The realization sets in
And the questions get in
But no answers met in
And you start to think
How much more to sink
Maybe you shouldn't blink
Perhaps the answer you seek
Though probably bleak
Under your nose speaks
Then it is revealed
And before the scars heal
Time catches up and steals life
Black out
Final breath
Meet death
Nothingness
It's so pointless

Falling Down

It's so sinister
Noone will administer
Any mercy to this blister
Of society
Sitting on this cold bench
Still coping with failure's stench
How my stomach does wrench
In the chamber I am read
By the minister with such dread
How for me Jesus bled
How I'd like to have my hands untied
Now led by men with stern expressions
To the room of my asphyxiation
But I am not afraid to die
Accept my fate, the time is nigh
Placed in this mercy seat I feel I could fly
The door is shut and my nostrils flare
They think they're God but I don't care
Behind I leave the despair
Falling out of life
Plummet into death
Hide from the knife
And embrace nothingness

God Damn Me

It's not getting through to me
I just don't want to accept the truth
And despite my denial
It still tears
I still bleed
I want it to be different
But it wouldn't be better for the rest
I only think of myself
Sinking deeper in this hole of self pity
Bitter and alone
Distressed and prone
My dreams have been thrown
Out the fucking window
Why bother

Hate To Feel

Still wide awake
It's been seventy two hours now
Almost delirious
And I'm still wondering how
I can't sleep
I can't have that darkness
All I can do is think
All I can do is feel
I feel like dying
At least my eyes would close
Shut off my brain
This torment noone knows
All alone
Can't even walk
I hate to think
I hate to feel
I Am Her Nothing

She drips perfection
I get the impression
That perhaps I should leave her be
But she said no
Told me not to go
Somehow she wanted to be with me
But as it turned out
My soul was plowed
Ripped to shreds for her to see
Not the angel I thought
The love that I sought
She left despite my plea
I did nothing wrong
She strung me along
She's locked up my broken heart and won't set it free

If Symptoms Persist

Remember life as a child?
Now everything has changed
You can kiss being carefree goodbye
Fail to understand death
What might loneliness be
Without negativity you can get by
Then you have to grow up
And you reify what it's all about
And those happy days have died
Now you know how easily you can break
Life is a funny thing
But it's not really ha ha funny
This world can really kick your ass
I used to be happy
Anything could please me
I'm glad I have people I call friends
It soothes the knowledge of a lonely end
I wake up and I can't even clear my head
I know I'm alive but I feel dead
I can't get through my day without drinking
Though it doesn't change where I'm going
The burdens make me feel like I'm insane
Just knowing how my life is so innane
I long for that happiness I once felt
Never content with the cards I've been dealt
I just want to be happy again

Inside You

The velvet sanctuary consumes me
Sliding into your warmth
Your intricate eyes grip mine so perfectly
I never want to leave
Dragging my tongue inside your head
In your arms I feel complete
My limbs are heavier than lead
Yet I can move them somehow
Feeling you nestled underneath me
What else do I need

It Could Be Sweet

Today I realized I want to spend my life with you
Otherwise it'd be wasted in putrid misery
The only thing I really have is this moment
And all I can think of right now is you with me
If only you had the same thought as I
It could be so sweet to see you when I wake up
And if I had that maybe I wouldn't want to die
I just want you to feel the same as I do
But you don't
You love him
I hope he buys you tulips
I hope he loves you like I do
I guess it doesn't bother me
As long as you're happy...

It's A Motherfucker

Imagine if you will
All time is still
You're outside of eternity
Nothing affects your being
Infinity is possible
You are irreplaceable
All you've ever hoped for
Is residing behind that door
No limit to the space
Holding this beautiful place
What most call Heaven
The afterlife promised by their empty religion
It's not going to happen
It's a motherfucker, isn't it?

Jail

Bruised and battered
Chipped and hollow shell
Seeking only some escape
Some way out of this hell
It's too late to fix the past
The future far too bleak
I just don't want to feel anymore
I just don't want to feel
Can somebody help me
Cast aside this loneliness
Can someone set me free
Substitute the bottle
Substitute the pills
Quell the thoughts of the razorblade
And the window sill
Drowning in solitude
Harboring this rage
Can't scrape the hate away
In this rusty cage
But I shouldn't complain
I've got noone to blame
As much as I'd like to point the finger
I was the one who let it all fall down

Kick The Bucket

Ready to kick the proverbial bucket
Ready to throw my hands up and fuck it
Never loved
I've had enough
Ready to throw it all away
Ready to collapse and decay
There's nothing left
What could be next
Ready to taste the metal and feel the steel
Ready to lose perception of what is real
A hole in my head
Wish it were you instead
Laying there in your bed
Could care less that I'm dead

Lies

Tired of bottling the hate
It's time to share it with the world
Chop off heads and slit throats
Beat you until you fucking croak
I've taken so much from you
No more
I've swallowed the lies
And shoved them deep down inside
Now I'm retching them back at you
Now to unleash the hate
That's been showered upon me
Ready to lash out and kill
Give you what you gave to me
I've taken so much from you
No more

Meaningless Movements

Been thinking a lot about death
Curious about what hasn't come yet
But it just seems so useless
For nothing to succeed this distress
Everything is meaningless
Everything goes away
So just why does it have to be
That I must die to be free
And when I say free I should say devoid
Of the vermin that eats me from inside
But at least the pain helps me forget
That everything is meaningless
And everything goes away


Naked In the Rain

Weathered by lies
They shun the truth like an unclean thing
Instilled with greed
They don't care about who they're using
They like it when we suffer
They thrive on our hardships
They tell us that they care
But they're so full of shit
And I thought you were different
I thought I could trust you
But it turns out you're one of them
Feels like there's nothing I can do
Feels like I'm naked in the rain
I'm shivering and helpless
The umbrellas I'm offered
Are given to me in jest
I hope we'll see the day
That I can finally convey
My perpetual rage

Only

I weep not for the sorrow in the past
But for the sorrow that is yet to come
All the angst that you have cast
Upon me as though I were scum
What the fuck?!
It's not as though
I want it to flow
The ridiculous
Pain that strains
Through what I can't attain
And if I could, how could I sustain
I can't explain
I can't restrain
My disdain for every grain
That has drained
Everything from the bloodstained
Walls of my brain
Now there's nothing I can do
Now I'm racked with this hate
How can I construe
I need to die and avoid my fate
Because I'm fucking doomed
Like you care

Paradise

The reverie I dream of
Is a sleep beyond the flow of time
To see black like holes in a memory
To speak with a broken throat
To hear with empty holes in my head
For me paradise is simple
To never feel again
The hurt will invade my thoughts
The pain will almost numb every nerve
No more
The feeling can't seep from my pores
This world can't damage me anymore
Harsh realities I can't implore
I can't know what the bastards have in store
Are you confused?
Consider this muse
No more misuse
No more abuse
Not when I'm dead

Push It

So you had to be that way
What was mine you took away
Not that I did anything to you
I guess you need something to do
And now what about me
Will I ever get to be
The using selfish abuser
Not play the role of the empty loser
Well I'm not like that and I'm not like you
Can't find it in myself to be so cruel
But oh, how I wish i could be
Let my empathy dissipate in me
I hate you
But tolerate you
And you push it further
I try to smile
And turn the other cheek
So you can welt it harder
No more

Quiet

I awake
To just what I'd suspected
Victim of silent rejection
I remain quiet as you leave
I watch
As you calmly brush your hair
So godly, I can't help but stare
I guess I've been decieved
I hear
The door closing, so loud
My sheets cling to me like a shroud
I can't believe I loved you

Rise

Individual thought patterns
Not approved by society
People don't seem to like to think
They never question authority
Why don't you think for yourself
Don't listen to your idiot box
You've forgotten about autonomy
Trust others before your own thoughts
I'm just sick of limiting myself
Now I would think that everyone else
Would love to think for themselves
Or maybe they're all scared
Aren't you tired of being controlled
They took away your notion to defy
Their system makes no sense to me
To be a drone like you, I'd rather die
I trust my inner self and not the authority
The selfish bastards will throw you away
We should control our own lives
We should be able to say what we want to say
But we're at the mercy of this ruthless machine
Why don't you think for yourself
Why don't you rise above this oppression
I just want them to shut their lying mouths
I want to put an end to this freedom recession
They hold you down
They force you down
They feed you bullshit and it gets through
I can't let them take me
I can't let them break me
I feel I need get up to explain life to you
But that's just me


Sickening

If you consider all the "might haves"
And torture yourself with the "could've beens"
It's enough to make you sick
Isn't it?
Maybe you should live for today
Yesterday means shit
You already lived it
Tomorrow, why give a fuck
You'll see it with some luck
I have no past
And I've certainly no future
I live in the moment
I refuse retrospect
Why plan for next year
You don't know you'll be here
The past left without a tear
It's no longer real
Consequence doesn't deserve fear
Noone should adhere
How can I make it clear
Maybe you should live for today

Someday

Someday I'll be far away
A better place where I can stay
Sorrow for pleasure to exchange
And it's so far away from today
I woke up thinking of death
And with my every breath
I bathed in melancholy
There'll come a day
That all this will go away
And I can be free
Yes, I'll be in a special place
I won't be plagued by your beautiful face
I can leave and go there without a trace
And exist for all times in goodness and grace
But that's just bullshit

Take With Lots Of Alcohol

Right now I am flying
Unaware that I am dying
Safe from all the prying
And free from any pining
It's so sad that I need this
It's so wrong that I need this
Right now I feel no pain
Oblivious to the world's disdain
Temporarily the torture is slain
The incessant thoughts can't flood my brain
It's so sad that I need this
It's so wrong that I need this

The Day I Walked Away

You never listened
As my pain strengthened
You don't care that it eats me alive
I just needed some assistance
I asked to your resistance
You want to ignore that I'm alive
Look at me now
As I wonder how
I got so jaded
My hope has faded
I hope you're happy
To see me rotting
In my emptiness
All you had to do was pretend that you cared
So I walked away

Undertow

Inundated by emotion
Fueled by these wheels in motion
Propelled with great distinction
To further my own distortion
I have never felt such hate
It floods my senses
And I can barely see
Betrayed again
I don't know what's real anymore
All that's real is the hate

Voracious Contempt

Our forefathers would be embarassed
With how the idea of America has been raped
No longer is the welfare of the poor stressed
To find someone who cares you'd be hardpressed
Everyone only cares about filling their pockets
The greed littering our nation is disgusting
To help those less fortunate is to abet
And everyone's too scared to mouth what they're seeing
Is noone else disgusted
Is everyone proud
Or does it meet silent dread
If you're on television
Don't you dare place certain words in a phrase
But if you're only killing animals
Go ahead and buy a gun every five days
Of course we're all free to make our own decisions
But a woman is a whore if she doesn't want a bastard son
She was raped? We won't even blink
Because there's no division of church and state, contrary to what you'd think
Doea any of this make any sense?

Why Bother

I can barely breathe
I don't want to see
Through these eyes anymore
It's not like you care
I can hardly bear
The anguish you seem adore
I woke up today
Just to see grey
There's no way
It can get any better
Instead of bitching
I should be trying
But every time I try
It falls apart
Why set myself up for failure
Again and again
I know I'm just here wasting my life
But the alcohol helps rule out the strife
Otherwise I can't smile
It's the best way to defile
My vile life

You

You don't even realize
You have the most beautiful face
When I look into your eyes
You seem like some kind of hypnotist
I can't believe I let you go
This unfortunate scenario
How the hell was I to know
All the pain you could bestow
So now here I lie
Wondering what I'm supposed to do
Wishing that I would die
I'm not so glad that I met you
Now the brigade of sorrow cascades
Down my cheeks once again like a blade
Cutting lines into my face without aid
Further jading me of this charade

Zero

Seeking some kind of answer
But what can I find
The writings of others
The words of a trained mind
Is there knowledge to accept
Without being controlled
Is there a way to think
Without being biaist or sold
How do you know
That what you know is real
How can you say
That you know what you feel
Do we even know what the truth is anymore



try and then
Try having all of your dreams killed off,
Then talk to me about planning for the future.
Try living in an environment where nothing you say matters to anybody,
Then talk to me about being more outgoing.
Try not finding any form of acceptance,
Then talk to me about learning how to be more tolerant.
Try losing everything and everybody that you feel attached to,
Then talk to me about life being worth living.
Try being looked upon as a weirdo,
Then talk to me about the importance of companionship.
Try hating yourself every hour of the day,
Then talk to me about smiling more.
Try failing to obtain order in your hectic life,
Then talk to me about being more relaxed.
Try not having a moment when you can breathe,
Then talk to me about being less closed off.
Try feeling that you can't talk to anybody without being judged,
Then talk to me about writing happier poetry.





in this life...
why am i...
nothing but a big sigh...
every nght
i lay and cry
do nothing
but think why
why you had to hurt me...
why you had to lie..
and why you had to come into my life
now that you came
things were supposed to happen
and did
but not the right things
i felt as tho my world was crashin b4 my very eyes
piece by piece it fell apart
i had nowhere to turn
then wen one piece was left
i relized it was there to stay
that piece was u
you gave me somewhere to turn
u help me rebuild my world
u now mean more than my world
i owe it to u


lost love

Sometimes you stop thinking about something
Because you don't want to feel the pain
Sometimes you keep thinking about something
Because you can't let it go
You live your whole life to the best it can be
Going about happily
Then all of a sudden
Things change
And nothing is ever the same
All those memories of family, friends, love, and laughs
Keep going through your head
You know the end is close
You can feel it coming near
So you hold on tight
To your loved ones dear
Taking out albums
Looking at forgotten photographs
A tear rolls down your cheek
But when we pass
Our loved ones only have our pictures
And remembrance in their heads
Of who we were
So never take for granted what you have now
You may not always have it
Get rid of the hate, madness, and quarrels that we have
Replace it with goodness and love
And never forget who is
Or who was
how do you go on

How do u go on
why do u stay alive?
How do u stay strong
when theres no reason to survive?

Who can u trust
when all you friends lie?
Where do u go
when u need to cry?

How long can u last
when u hear the knife call?
Will u stay standing
or will u fall?

Where do u go
when u cant go home?
How do u deal
when ur all alone?

How long will it take
for you to decide?
Wheter u'll live
or whether u'll die.......


i will leave you

everythings coming to an end
and your just standing there w/ a big grin
you look at me and think im all right
but really im putting up a fight
im trying to fight off all my urges to die
and you cant even see it
even when you sitting there watching me cry...
you say that i should talk to you
but ever time i try
you just sit there and make a big sigh
i sit there yelling your name for help
but your to caught up in your self
every day you try and blame me
say i dont care or say that im not trustable
but screw you
cause you should know
that not in to long
i will leave you....


dead or alive

I've struggled so long
its hard to survive.
and like my name says
i'm dead but alive.
I've been trying so long
i've been trying so hard.
but now i must say
i'm eternaly scarred.
My body died
long ago
why i'm still here
i'll never know.
My heart is soo cold
my soul is long gone.
its all over now
but i must move on.
I wish i would just die
so it would all end.
but i stay alive
for my bestfriend.
Shes the only reason
that i'm not dead.
and thoughts of her
are always in my head.
She knows me best
and she knows i strive
but she also knows
i'm dead but alive






As the city sleeps I lie awake,
no one cares,
no one notices ,
I am alone,
I wonder why is the world so cold and hearts black,
why you cut your self thinking that it helps,
you think my life is perfect not knowing the truth ,
you think I don?t understand what you are going threw,
that I cant help, but I can
the wieght of all that I bear tears my heart to pieces,
but you don?t notice,
you only think of your own problems,
you say you care,
you say you love me,
but I don?t believe it,
if you did you wouldn?t hurt me,
you would never have done what you did.
You say you wont do it a gain but I know that you will,
I always worry about you even though you say not too,
you were the one I trust but I cant now,
you said that you would die for me,
what about living,
I love you
but you wont tell me what?s wrong until it is to late


its ok
You wonder why i dont show my feelings.
why i never say whats on my mind.
but maybe i just need time for healing.
before i open up, there is myself i must find.
maybe i dont want to get hurt again.
maybe its cuz you wont understand.
maybe i just dont know where to begin.
maybe i need a hand.
but then again.
maybe i do show whats on my mind.
maybe you just dont know your way in.
maybe your just blind.
maybe i am the one that wins.
even though everything i do is wrong.
and i shall never be able to forget my sins.
maybe i need to find a place to belong.
since it seems here i dont fit in.
maybe im afraid o what your will say.
maybe i should start over again.
the maybe everything will be okay.








Wondering Why
Wondering why...
You played all those games,
Wondering why...
You always lied to me.
Wondering why...
You couldn't be true.
Wondering why...
I fell in love with you.
Wondering why...
I keep going back to you.
Wondering why...
I have to wonder why!
Praying
Praying...
For you to change.
Praying...
That you stop playing games.
Praying...
That you'll stay true.
Praying...
That it will always be me and you.
Praying...
Praying all the time!!
Put down the knife!!
Put down the knife,
And stop all the lies.
Put down the knife,
Everyone stairs
as they start to cry.
Lieing in the casket.
Was me because of YOU.
You played to many games,
and made me cry to.
This time i went
and theres nothing you can do!!





Look into her eyes, you'll see her tears
The pain she's been feeling, for so many years
You'll know how she feels, she's screaming inside
You'll see all the secrets, she's had to hide
Look at her heart, it's been broken in two
She can never go back to the world she once knew
It lies in pieces, they fall on the floor
She knows her life won't be, the same anymore
Look at hers scars, she makes herself bleed
By cutting herself, she hopes to be freed
She knows that after, it just makes it worse
She's trapped in herself, she can't stop this curse
When things get bad, she does it again,
And hopes for a time, when her sadness will end
Look at her life, she didn't want this
Look at her sitting there, cutting her wrists
She lost so many years, she grew up fast
She can't ever forget, she can't change the past
Look at her memories, none of them good
She can't wipe them away, she wishes she could
Look at her tears as they stream down her face
Now she feels nothing, there's nothing she can do
You can see her, but she can't see you





heart as a toy
Im not a person who has love in my life,
Im just someone who has break ups and fights,
I can't sleep again cuz you're on my mind
This seems to happen all the time
Last night was the same, & the night before that too
I just can't stop thinkin' about you
It's hard to tell your mind to stop
loving someone when your heart still does
Ask me why I keep on loving you when it's clear
that you don't feel the same way for me...
the problem is that as much as I can't force you to love me,
I can't force myself to stop loving you.
Nothing is more painful than realizing
that she meant everything to you
and you meant nothing to her
Love is giving somebody the power to destroy you,
but trusting that they won't...
your heart was just a toy



i thought i
was her bestfriend.
well i thought wrong
once again.

i thought i helped her
through thick and thin.
when all along
she turned to him.

i thought she listend
to every word i said.
i thought because of me
she wasnt dead.

well i was wrong
about it all.
i was never the first one
she would call.

i found out
in my own desire.
when you think
it will back-fire.

so next time
no matter what predicament she's in
i'll pick up the phone
and say "call him!"

Friends (42):

Mutual Friends (15):

Also Friend of (4):